Are you truly listening to your children? In the midst of trying to judge all of the balls and lead your family it can be very hard to truly listen. We all know that life is hectic, we are time strapped and we are constantly torn emotionally from one child to another, from one stressful situation at work to supporting the neighbour who’s husband just died. We are often in complete overwhelm and what I see in my clinic is that women, unknowingly become ‘squeaky wheel parents.’
This is the term that I use for mothers who are trying their absolute best, who are doing a great job but who are not balancing their family lives and are just attending to each squeaky wheel as it arises. Another way to describe this is ‘fire fighter parenting.’ I know about this one myself!
I found myself in the middle of last year just putting out fires in my family life. I was growing my company and my staff morale, I was feeding and nurturing my relationship with my husband, I was trying to be a good friend and daughter although honestly I was pretty rubbish at this and unbeknownst to me I was only tending to my children. Whoever made the loudest noise was the one who got my attention.
This was not my intention when I woke every morning, I did not find myself in this place because I didn’t care, instead I was just completely out of balance myself and therefore had no emotional energy to pour into them. My mothering role was just one of being a fire fighter, I was doing everything I could to put out the fires but nothing preventatively.
This was an intense time for me and before the crash and burn I had to stop and take responsibility. I had to do some rearranging. The light bulb moment was when my daughter kept complaining of pain at night, I thought and assumed it was attention seeking as in our family we don’t have illness thanks to my Puraforce Remedies. I thought this was just her way of trying to get attention. I soon realised I was wrong and she had growing pains which is completely expected and normal at 6. We started her on my Anti Inflam Drops every 10 minutes before bed for 6 doses and that literally resolved in 3 nights. YAY! I love homeopathy!
But the growth and what it taught me was even more valuable than my homeopathy. I realised that something needed to change, I needed to reshuffle my life around.
Here is what I did:
I started to wake earlier every day to clear my inbox so that I would not be overwhelmed in my words and tone with my children getting them ready for their day because I was overwhelmed by a full inbox.
I started taking even better care of my body, I committed to 8 hours of sleep every night and drinking 3 litres of water every day.
No work on weekends!
I made a conscious effort to increase my family time on the weekends which for me means no screen time on the weekend and NO WORK – no phone calls or emails.
HARD CORE Puraforce!
I really committed to my remedies, even more than before. Every day I take Hormone Balancer Drops, Stress Drops, Digestion Aid Drops and Immune Boost Drops, I place 4mls of each into 1 litre of water and I sip it all day. I also always carry my Stress Drops with me so that the moment I feel overwhelmed and fatigued I have support. I have a bottle on my desk at the clinic and I have a bottle in my car. Whenever I feel overwhelmed as if I don’t have enough time or emotional energy I started dosing my Stress Drops every 10 minutes until I feel back to my balanced state again. (This has made a huge difference to my ability to cope with stuff that ‘just comes up.’)
Really listen to my children
Every day I make a conscious effort to listen to them, what are they trying to tell me? I ask the right questions now and I intentionally tell them the kind of mum that I’m trying to be and what I am trying to achieve for us all. I tell them what is important to me too. The best way I have found to commit to this is to have 1 hour a week with each of my girls. I take my eldest out after school for sushi or coffee and cake and we really connect. She tells me all about her life and it gives her a platform of support and time to have any concerns or emotions she needs help with heard. With my youngest who is four we go to the park and I push her on the swings and we talk about unicorns and ponies and rainbows and she shows me inside her world. This time is magical!
I am still not the best parent I can be but I am working on it each and every day. I have put things in place to hold myself responsible for my parenting and I am aware of my overwhelm which is what fuels my fire fighting parenting style which doesn’t serve any of us.
If you can relate to this at all I want to encourage you and let you know you are not alone. We are all doing our best. Perhaps a reshuffle is in order or you need to get onto my remedies to better support your body and your mind so that you can serve your family better.
If I can help in any way please reach out to me via TOLL FREE 1800 244 449.