I didn’t consider myself a leader…
I have lived and breathed the self help industry for the last 15 years. I had read about leadership, I had listened to speakers speak on leadership but I never felt it resonated with me. It seemed such a corporate word, a word for big business owners and maybe even a word I associated with men and not women.
Last year I really started coming across more material in leadership, it seemed to be screaming out at me. I had books and audiobooks and things in my newsfeed, all with the word leadership in them. This made me think about this word and what it meant to me.
After working through this inside my heart and head for a while now, I am now ready to share what I think it was all about.
I have come to understand that I am the leader, in fact I think I am a superhero. Yes, I am the first born and yes I own a few companies and businesses but the leadership that resonates in my heart is leading the way for my family. I have come to know in the deep pit of my gut, that I AM the leader of my family. As I have come to understand this I am now choosing to step up into this leadership.
As the leader of my family I am the superhero. I am often the one who comes up with the ideas. I often come up with the implementation strategies and I also often, am the one who changes the direction and course of our lives. I think this is because I am addicted to change and I have a strong will and desire for better. I share this leadership with my husband, my family, my business partner and with my friends to some extent but overall I think I AM the leader.
This doesn’t mean I have all the answers. It doesn’t mean I am not always flexible and I don’t change my mind based on the input of others as I do all of these things. I just think that as a wife, mother, daughter and business woman I am a leader.
As I have pulled this apart even further this year, I have come to look around me and find that the majority of women are leaders, in actual fact I think we are ALL leaders. We run homes, we balance the lives and schedules of all the members of our families, we are the organisers and the seekers of information for better ways to do things. I think this is what really is the foundation of all of those roles that we perform in our lives.
The question is, could we be doing it better? If we stepped up into this role of leader in our families would it have a better outcome for us all? This is not emasculating men and this is not saying we wear the pants and have all the say. Not at all! I am just wondering, if we understood the importance of our role as leader and that what we seek, implement and are driven to do serves our family, would we commit to doing it more or even better? What do you think?
I don’t have the answer, and I sure love sharing my life with my husband and family but I think in my little world my leadership and the recent acceleration in my attitude towards leadership is serving us all better.
I have implemented many tools this year as leader of our family, here are just a few.
– This is a document/picture board (we have both) that my husband and I work on together that clearly lays out the values and dreams we have for each other and our children. (This changes VERY rapidly in our home which is why the document has been better and more time efficient for us.) We will be revisiting this over the Christmas period and including our girls in some of this activity.
– I spent some time creating some core values that we hold as a family. I then discussed them with my husband and we agreed on them. I then presented them to both my parents, as they both spend a lot of time with our children. Based on these values we have then discussed conscious parenting techniques that we can use to reflect and teach our girls about these values. An example of this has been the Law of Attraction. We believe that what we think about we create. As such, we speak to our children about complaining. We all pick each other up on the habit of complaining and hold each other accountable, so if we spend time speaking about it, then it will manifest. I recently heard our 7 year old tell her nanny “stop complaining nanny, we don’t complain in this family.”
– The nature of my work life and travel schedule has made a monthly or bi monthly diaries meeting a necessity in our lives over the past few years. This was a tool I had watched my parents do as a child as my father, too, had a big career and a lot of travel. I remember my parents sitting on the lounge with their diaries mapping our year and in some cases two years ahead with family holidays and other work events. I have synced particular diaries in iCAl with my family members this year to share the important realities of my work life and travel. This has been very empowering for us as we are now 12 -18 months ahead in the planning of family holidays and special times together. We will step this up to a whole new level next year as we commit to greater quality and quantity of time together. This is now a necessity as my husband has travel in his work life too. This will be a great tool for us all.
My hope in writing this article for you is not to make you step into a dominant role in your family life as I do not believe that leadership is about dominance. My experience with stepping up into my leadership within my life and family has come with many blessings. I know that when I am balanced we are all better. I know that I will have special time with all of my loved ones as it is scheduled in. I know for certain that we are parenting consciously, not just letting the years slip by with our wonderful children. It has taken me into a whole level of creation.
Some of the questions I have asked myself have been – what do I TRULY want, what am I trying to create for my children and what does all of this mean? Having clarity within this space for myself has allowed for some beautiful conversations with my husband and my parents who I spend most of my time with. It has given me great clarity in my role as a mother and my business life and has really taken my practice of mindfulness to a whole new level.
I have implemented many mindfulness strategies consciously in my life. I am now teaching these techniques and other tools for loving leadership in my Mindfulness Masterclass every Monday. I invite you to join me and share my journey of conscious living, parenting and business.
I hope you found this article valuable and perhaps you may think about how you are leading your family. If I can help you in any way, please contact me directly on TOLL FREE 1800 244 449 or firstname.lastname@example.org
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